Last night we got a double dose of real Housewives of Beverly Hills, with the season three finale and the first part of the reunion airing back-to-back. Going into the evening, I suspected that they were double loading the two episodes because neither was really all that exciting and Bravo knew that people would complain if they strung it out for an extra week without delivering much. After watching the episodes, I suspect I was right.
The central problem, of course, is that Adrienne still won’t let Whatever Brandi said be uttered on television, so the season’s entire arc is still about nothing, and it can’t ever really be resolved. even though we’ve all read the speculation, the fact that it can’t be discussed means that there’s never any end game, which was particularly obvious in the reunion, where resolution is usually the main event. Still, though, we forge onward.
1. Taylor’s really trying to make this friends-with-David’s-ex thing into a storyline. It’s been mentioned in several past episodes that Taylor has issues with Yolanda because she’s married to David Foster, who used to be married to Taylor’s pal Linda. David and Linda got divorced in 2005, which was, last I checked, eight years ago. (Someone check my math there.) Yolanda didn’t get married to him until 2011, and no one’s accused Yolanda of breaking up David’s previous marriage, so I don’t have any idea what any of this has to do with anything, except for the fact that it gives Taylor a narrative to cling to.
2. In Faye’s own head, she’s a justice crusader. In Faye’s head, matching your hair color with your spray tan shade is the hot look for spring, so it must be a fascinating and terrifying place in there.
3. Kim was right, if late – Kyle was way more upset about Brandi’s treatment of Adrienne than her treatment of Kim. Brandi said some genuinely nasty things about Kim last season, and they ended up being mostly untrue. Yes, Brandi was under duress when she said them. Yes, Kyle and Kim bullied her and it was hard to feel bad for them. Yes, it was weird that the switch flipped in Kim’s mind right then and she started that argument in the middle of Lisa’s party. but that doesn’t make her any less right; Kyle’s gone to battle for Adrienne all season, it’s been one of the show’s only narrative arcs, and it was over something Brandi said that seems to have been true. When it was her own sister in question and she knew the accusations to be factually incorrect, Kyle’s crusade was nowhere near as zealous. I’m not sure that any of us really care at this point, and it probably should have been pointed out a long time ago, but Kim’s not wrong.
4. Adrienne actually showed up to Lisa’s party. everyone grieves these things in different ways, but Adrienne said she had just been served with papers that night. She walked in and right away collapsed in a pile of tears with everyone patting her hands and fawning over her. She didn’t even bother to greet Lisa or Ken at their vow renewal before making a scene. I don’t doubt that Adrienne was genuinely sad for what was happening, but it also seemed like she did take significant time to consider how to seem as sympathetic as possible, both on the show and the stories that were released about the split at the tid. (Remember those false accusations of child abuse against Paul?) As soon as she was done making the scene, Adrienne showed herself out (both of the party and of the show) before Lisa and Ken even renewed their vows, which is the emotional equivalent of farting in a crowded elevator and getting out at the next floor.
5. Yolanda is not having any of Adrienne’s BS. and she’s right, of course, as she has tended to be lately, despite her jarringly retro sexual politics. Adrienne walled everyone off from her life, which might be understandable when you know that her marriage was crumbling at the time, except that she did it from atop the highest of horses. You can’t be holier-than-thou and a sympathetic figure.
6. After Adrienne left, everyone sat around and speculated about her prenup. It was the most Beverly Hills thing I’ve ever seen, and definitely my favorite moment of the episode. maybe the entire season.
7. Lisa shouldn’t have had her vow-renewal as the end-of-season party if she didn’t want everyone to be an idiot at it. As much as I like Lisa, and as much as I agree with her in principle (people should keep their own drama to themselves and have some manners while at someone else’s ceremonial life event), let’s get real – this is real Housewives. The last party is always full of bickering and screaming and tears. Lisa should be delighted no one physically assaulted anyone else.
8. Still, their vow renewal was adorable. even Giggy stood up at the altar with them! If I’m half as in love and half as stunning as Lisa when I’m 51, I’ll think myself the luckiest woman in the world.
And now, on to the reunion…
1. Adrienne skipped the reuNion. Andy virket forbanna at Adrienne ikke gadd å dukke opp, og han gikk ut av veien, i en åpenbart skriptet og faux-dramatisk monolog på toppen av timen, for å gni i det faktum at å løpe vekk fra gjenforeningen var henne “Final” fungerer som en husmor og spurte gruppen om de trodde hun var feigt for å unngå samtalen. Ingen spurte meg, men ja, det er helt feigt. Jeg er også sikker på at Andy, som programmeringsekseks på Bravo, er forbanna på hva Adrienne tok bort fra sesongen ved å hoppe over mye av å filme og saksøke for å sikre at Brandis beskyldninger ikke kunne snakkes om i spesifikasjoner.
2. Er Yolanda kald? Vel, ikke alle er supervennlige til å begynne med, og det er fornuftig å gå inn i en reality -TV -rollebesetning med vakten opp. Yolanda har også en tendens til å ha veldig sterke meninger om ting og deler dem etter ønske, noe som kan få en person til å virke aggressiv når du først møter henne, spesielt hvis noen av meningene ikke er de som ofte holdes i gruppen. Nå tror jeg at vi alle vet at Yolanda er ærlig og velmenende, om til tider litt gammeldags. Jeg vet heller ikke hvorfor hun var syk som hund i Kyle’s innkjørsel. Jeg fulgte ikke den anekdoten.
3. Er Taylor alkoholiker? Vel kanskje.
4. “På festen for Kims nye nese …” en faktisk ting som ble sagt på TV.
5. Kyle vil ha kreditt for ikke å kjempe med Brandi i ansiktet hele sesongen. Så, lemme får dette rett. Jeg kan si stygg ting om noen foran et kameramannskap i flere måneder, og så har jeg lov til å kreve kreditt senere fordi jeg ikke kom i krangel med den personen til ansiktet hennes? Kul.
6. Jeg har veldig liten tålmodighet til å se folk krangle om noen sa noe som ikke var på kamera eller ikke. Sa Yolanda noen ikke-så-fine ting om Lisa i Frankrike da Lisa opptrådte som litt av en sjakk? Kan være. Sannsynligvis, til og med. Men hvis det ikke er noen uavhengige bevis på om det skjedde eller ikke, gir det bare ikke god TV. Det er som å høre på noen som forteller deg om denne helt fantastiske drømmen de hadde, som er en samtale som absolutt ingen noen gang vil finne seg selv i. Det er nesten like ille som å lytte til en gjenforeningskamp om tweets.
7. Jeg er ganske sikker på at Lisa vet at Yolanda sa noe stygt om henne. Lisa er ikke en idiot. Hun oppførte seg litt dårlig mot Kim i Frankrike, og hvis noen skulle si noe negativt, ville det vært en god mulighet til å gjøre det. Å ignorere hva Yolanda kan ha sagt styrker Lisas stilling med Yolanda ved å vise at hun stoler på henne, men det irriterer Kyle, som hun ser ut til å glede seg over å rote med. Det er en vinn-vinn, spesielt siden verken Kyle eller Kim kan bevise at Yolanda sa noe. Dette er grunnen til at Lisa er bedre på dette showet enn noen andre.